Party blowers

What better way to bring in the New Year?

Are you tired of the same old lame-rear New Year’s parties where nothing happens and nobody has any fun? Me too! So here’s what you do. Get an above-ground pool in your living room and fill it with mac & cheese and pickles. I’m not sure what you would do with that stuff, but now you’ll have a party worth remembering!

Barring that, it’s time to make some awesome custom buttons for the New Year (just don’t put 2013 on there by mistake, okay; we’re headed into 2014 already)! Want to make your party unique? Want to make it fun again? Want to get all the chicks? Well that’s up to you, but custom buttons should go a long way towards making it a memorable time.

So let’s take a look at some the funny and stupid things people have said about New Years past. Maybe you’ll even find a few things that are quote-worthy for your buttons.

Cheers To A New Year And Another Chance For Us To Get It Right.

Oh man, this sounds more like a political slogan than a New Year quote. Of course, what else would you expect from Oprah Winfrey?

Well, anyway, maybe for those serious intellectual types this does something for them. Whatever floats your boat, man. Cheers!

May All Your Troubles Last As Long As Your New Year’s Resolutions!

This one is good for everyone that’s not in the habit of keeping New Year’s resolutions (which is everyone, right?). If you actually did keep your resolution year-round, wow, according to this quote your troubles would last a whole year. Gross!

Joey Adams came up with this bit of wisdom.

He Who Breaks A Resolution Is A Weakling; He Who Makes One Is A Fool.

So either way, you’re screwed. Just don’t make any resolutions.

F.M. Knowles is responsible for dropping this knowledge on us.

New Year’s Day Now Is The Accepted Time To Make Your Regular Annual Good Resolutions. Next Week You Can Begin Paving Hell With Them As Usual.

The witty Mark Twain made this statement. You can count on him to have a funny quote about an occasion such as this.

This is sort of like when people tell you to “stay out of trouble” in parting. What the hell man, the idea is to get in to trouble. Otherwise, what fun is New Years?

A New Year’s Resolution Is Something That Goes In One Year And Out The Other.

See what they did there? They exchanged the word ‘year’ for ‘ear’. I know, I know. A joke isn’t funny when you have to explain it. But it’s really clever what they did here. They put the word ‘year’ in the place of ‘ear’. Getting funny yet?

I guess you could say this is kind of like when kids repeat a year in elementary school, no? It’s really lame.

No one took credit for this quote.

An Optimist Stays Up Until Midnight To See The New Year In. A Pessimist Stays Up To Make Sure The Old Year Leaves.

In Japan, I hear they have something called a Bonenkai, which is a get-together for people who want to forget the last year and drink away their woes and troubles. They also have Shinnenkai, which is basically the opposite, but you still drink a lot. Man, those Japanese sure have it figured out.

This quote was by Bill Vaughan, who correctly describes the New Year’s parties in Japan.

Youth Is When You’re Allowed To Stay Up Late On New Year’s Eve. Middle Age Is When You’re Forced To.

For those who like “getting old” jokes, here’s something for you. Don’t be a party-pooper, Mr. Mid-aged.

This is yet another Bill Vaughan quote.

Many People Look Forward To The New Year For A New Start On Old Habits.

You know, because some people never change. This is a great quote for when you want to make fun of people who set ridiculous New Year resolutions that they never follow through on.

Mr. Anonymous was quoted as saying this, along with many other wise, funny and stupid quotes. Man, he sure was prolific.

I Would Say ‘Happy New Year’ But It’s Not Happy; It’s Exactly The Same As Last Year Except Colder.

This is especially true of those of you who live up north. Who invented winter anyway, and why did they think it was a good idea!?

This is a Robert Clark quote.

Be Always At War With Your Vices, At Peace With Your Neighbors, And Let Each New Year Find You A Better Man.

And always be at a distance when someone farts. I learned that lesson the hard way.

This quote was by good ol’ Ben, Benjamin Franklin.

I Wouldn’t Be New Year’s If I Didn’t Have Regrets.

Exactly! You’re supposed to do stupid things for New Year’s! It’s pretty damn boring if you don’t.

Oh, that’s not what William Thomas meant? Sheesh, you’re way too reflective for me, dude.

Happy New Year!

For those who want to stay classy, it might be a good idea to stick to the old standbys.

The other advantage of putting this on your button is that, unless you have the year on there, you can use it every single year! Wow, talk about cost-efficient.

Do you have any favorite New Year quotes? Make sure to leave a comment and let us know. We’ll be sure to make fun of your answers!

Image: Marvin Kuo